Pat on the back

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Decided I’ve been giving myself a bit of a hard time lately and need to stop for a minute and recognise that in some ways I’m actually doing a pretty good job.

I sat with oldest daughter last night at bed time, listening to her chat away while drinking my camomile tea. Having already spent a while lying with youngest daughter while she was reading the new book I’d just bought her (rare for her to get in to a book so quickly – tick, done something right there too!).

Anyway, as I sat with oldest, I reflected that 2 years ago, there is no way I would have been spending this calm, quality time with our gorgeous daughters at bed time. Because two years ago, wine still had its hold over me and I thought the best way to wind down and feel better in an evening was with a bottle of wine, on my own, usually in front of the telly.

The problem with that is that the first glass of wine crept ever forward in the evening. And one glass always led to another and another in quicker and quicker succession as the years went on. And what that meant is that I was more fixated on getting the next glass of wine (that I deserved after all, I am a hard working parent!) than I was paying our girlies proper attention at one of the most important parts of day.

So rather than get pleasure from sitting with them calmly in the evening, listening to them, being with them; I used to choose to go downstairs instead and zone out from the world on my own. And I had no idea at the time that I was missing out on such a lovely feeling and closeness with our girls.

Here’s to me. Congratulations on my 14 months sober and for what that means to my children, for my parenting and for us as a family. No longer is wine getting between me and our children. For that I will be eternally thankful and will try to keep making the most of the wonderful quality time that bedtime offers.

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